Couples Retreat

There is not much to say about the film. It was bad. The sort of bad that makes you want to waste half of your life on building a time machine so you could go back in time and persuade yourself not to watch it. But somehow I feel I have wasted this 2h I spent watching it completely if I say nothing here.

So here it is: relationships are quite frankly the worst thing there is. It is as if at one point two seemingly intelligent people decide to force a badger through their ear and let it eat whatever is left of their common sense. Once we are in a relationship we start to think it is important to name things, label emotions and take things seriously. After that you forget why you wanted to be around the person in the first place and ten minutes after that you will find yourself in a motel next to either a Bianca or a Pablo trying to find your doctor's number on your phone so you could enquire about the downsides of syphilis. We've all been there.

Rarely do we realise that making 10% effort every now and again can solve 90% of our problems. No, I haven't been to one of those "yes, you can do it, believe in yourself, carpe diem" talks that inspire people to sell more and buy less or vice a versa depending on what sort of a shape a bloke in japan discovered at the bottom of his coffee cup. The key is that the 10% effort needs to be focused on ourselves. Saying that I am being a selfish donkey and I will now make a conscious effort to focus on making someone else happy. Then we will beat the leprechaun to the pot of gold.

Alternatively, doing simple things that are as unfamiliar to your daily routine as penguins are to polar bears will also remind you why you got in a relationship in the first place. And then you can just enjoy the company of that person and share wonderful things with them.

So the main thing to take away from this film is that I wish I was Vince Vaughn. He is funny and I like him. The film wasn't funny though. I did not laugh once. Full stop.